What if I didn’t need control to be free? – My Eating Disorder Recovery
- BAO Elan Vital
- Apr 1
- 4 min read
In the Explorer – Discoverer training and during the Masterclasses , the discussion about the limits of coaching often comes up.A watchword:Any question or suspicion of a pathology, suicidal thoughts or temptations, addictions, depression, or trauma must be redirected to health professionals.Very briefly: coaching is an action-oriented and future-oriented approach, while psychotherapy is a more in-depth psychological treatment aimed at resolving emotional and behavioral problems.See > https://coachingfederation.be/fr/ethique-et-reglementMargaux Broux, certified BAO Elan Vital trainer-coach , wears many hats: psychologist, coach, woman, daughter, multilingual, yoga teacher, global citizen and author!Like everyone else, she's had her share of adversity. She's managed to turn a major ordeal into a source of compassion for people who are struggling with a specific issue. Her sharing is particularly touching at a time when someone close to her is battling a serious phenomenon that particularly affects young adults: drunkorexia (or alcoholorexia). The notion of control is twofold. And the family's powerlessness is quadruple!Margaux shares her experience with eating disorders.While coaches work with a team to address the above issues, it's crucial to spot the signs and stay informed so you can help people.Thank you Margaux for sharing your thoughts, which gives us hope!Let's feed peace!Daniëlle De Wilde
When Control Becomes the Problem: My Journey to a Peaceful Relationship with Food and My Body
A life under the influence of control
For years, my life revolved around a single goal: regaining control. Controlling my food intake to avoid binges, to keep myself from raiding my cupboards, and, most importantly, to avoid gaining weight. Every loss of control, every binge eating experience, was experienced as a personal failure.
I was convinced that the solution lay in more control: following an even stricter diet, counting every calorie, planning every meal, increasing my exercise… Yet, despite my best efforts, the compulsions inevitably returned. I remained trapped in this yo-yo for over 10 years. This vicious cycle trapped me in a spiral of frustration, guilt, and, above all, shame.
Then one day, a simple question turned my understanding of my eating disorder upside down:
What if the problem isn't lack of control, but control itself?
This realization marked the beginning of a profound transformation in my relationship with food and my body.
Understanding the Impact of Control: The Illusion of Security
As I delved deeper into my research, I discovered that this constant need for control was not trivial. It was rooted in deep, often unconscious, wounds.
For many, these injuries come from:
From a lack of stability in the family environment, which creates a fear of unpredictability.
Humiliation or negative comments about the body, which generate a visceral fear of not being accepted or loved.
From a lack of self-esteem , where we try to fill an inner void by seeking validation and value in external factors such as weight, physical appearance, financial or professional success. These criteria become benchmarks to measure our "worth", but they lock us into an endless quest, where we always feel "not enough".
In these contexts, control becomes a survival strategy. We cling to the idea that if we have complete control over our diet and appearance, we can avoid pain, judgment, and even feelings of vulnerability.
But this control comes at a huge cost. By trying to control everything, we stifle our body's natural signals. Hunger, satiety, and the pleasure of eating become enemies to be fought. The rigid rules imposed by diet culture further isolate us and, ultimately, fuel exactly what we're trying to avoid: loss of control.
The misconception that getting rid of an eating disorder takes years
Faced with this realization, one might think it would take years of therapy to understand the origins of this need for control. That's what I believed, too. For 10 years, I tried to analyze every detail: Why had I developed an eating disorder? What wounds was I trying to compensate for?
But over time, a fundamental truth emerged: I could free myself from control, even without understanding everything. I didn't need to solve everything to move forward.
This realization was liberating. It allowed me to abandon the endless quest for "why" and focus on the "how." This is precisely where coaching has played a decisive role in my life.
Coaching: a key to concrete progress
Through coaching, instead of endlessly searching for answers to my past wounds, I began to:
Observe my eating behaviors with curiosity and kindness, rather than judgment.
Relearning to listen to my body's natural signals, such as hunger, satiety and pleasure.
Abandon rigid rules and create new benchmarks based on my feelings and desires.
Little by little, I discovered that by letting go of control, I did not fall into chaos, but that I found a freedom that I thought was inaccessible to me.
A new mission: helping others free themselves
This personal transformation not only changed my life, but also gave me a new mission: to accompany others on this same journey. Since then, I've had the privilege of helping more than 150 women free themselves from control and regain a peaceful relationship with food.
My book, "Foodez-vous la paix," is an invitation to take this step, to discover how to let go and rebuild an intuitive relationship with your body and food.
Conclusion: What if it were possible for you too?
Control isn't the solution. It's often the problem. But freeing ourselves from them doesn't mean ignoring our wounds. It means learning to move forward despite them, with concrete tools that reconnect us to our bodies and ourselves and detach us from our limiting beliefs and fears.
My journey isn't unique. If you recognize yourself in my story, know that peace with food and your body is possible. You don't need to wait years or figure everything out or fix everything to move forward.
Sometimes it all starts with a simple question: What if I didn't need control to be free?
Margaux Broux
Email: brouxmargaux@gmail.comInstagram: foodezvouslapaix
Bio: Author of "Foodez-vous la paix," I help women free themselves from their conflicted relationship with food and their bodies. After going through my own battles with eating disorders, I am now a psychologist and certified BAO Elan Vital coach for those who want to permanently transform their relationship with food and with themselves.
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