“What if changing the world started by changing yourself?” – by Pierre Lucas (excerpt from the book “TAO my compass”)

Pierre Lucas – Senior Coach BAO-Elan Vital

What institutions will save humans from a shipwreck that now seems inevitable if radical changes of direction are not made? Politics? Justice? The stock market? Education? Large companies (some of which have a turnover comparable to the GDP of so-called sovereign states)? Religions?

Everyone will probably have their own personal answer to this question. For my part, I offer you a slightly offbeat perspective inspired by Lao Tzu, the man who called himself the "old child":

If you want to change the world, start by changing your country,

If you want to change your country, start by changing your province,

If you want to change your province, start by changing your city,

If you want to change your city, start by changing your family,

If you want to change your family, start by changing yourself.

If you want to change the world, start by changing yourself... Who hasn't dreamed of changing the world one day? And yet, Taoist philosophy couldn't be clearer on the subject: not only is it impossible (it would be like trying to move mountains), but even more, it is not desirable. Because who, if not the "LIVING" (I also like to call it TAO), can know what is in its rightful place?

In our Western culture, and more specifically in Christian culture, it is also sometimes said that the ways of the Lord are inscrutable. So what is left to do if, faced with situations that seem unjust or simply unacceptable, we realize our powerlessness to change the course of events?

First of all, an obvious fact, as we teach on the first day of our EXPLORER training. The first thing will be to sort between three categories:

• Things that are completely within our control;

• Those on which we can directly or indirectly have an impact or influence;

• And those over which we apparently have no control.

From there, we will have to focus mainly on those that fall into the first two categories. While taking care to always remain in an optimal balance between our Yin and Yang energies, which already constitutes a whole program (peaceful Yin and hidden Yang). Because the World is changing. Whether we agree with it or not. Whether we like it or not. Under these conditions, believing that we, insignificant humans compared to the great natural and cosmic forces, could change it (Yang) raises a certain number of questions in relation to the connection we maintain with it (Yin).

Showing humility (humus: Earth, Yin) by being aware of one's limits is undoubtedly the way to follow when circumstances force us to accept what is infinitely stronger than us.

Does this mean that our sense of powerlessness should lead us to completely disinterest ourselves in the great currents that move the world? No, because what we do has an impact on the world, since we are part of it, as the Native American legend of the hummingbird dear to Pierre Rabhi reminds us. I believe that the Tao offers us a coherent navigation path to humbly meet the challenges that await us (climatic and otherwise).

I therefore suggest that you reflect for a few moments on the application of the following axiom, inspired by Lao Tzu: "If you hope to change the world, start by opening the only building site that is truly within your reach: yourself."

Business and family are 'small worlds' whose managers and parents are the first responsible leaders

The word leadership is an Anglicism meaning "leadership function or position." The term refers to the influence of an individual on a group. In management, for example, leadership is the ability to best mobilize the resources of employees to achieve set objectives and move in a specific "direction."

We will therefore understand by leader or manager any person who, through their position in a system (company, group, society, but also family), exerts an influence on one or more people. As you will have understood: everyone is targeted. Business or team leader, political leader, sports coach, teacher and… parent.

Biological Parent versus Symbolic ParentBefore starting this comparison – bold and to be taken with a pinch of salt, I agree – between the parent and the leader, I would like to emphasize the fact that the word "parent" is obviously not to be taken in the biological sense.The word "parent" used here is to be taken in its symbolic sense. There is no need for a blood relationship: a stepfather, an adoptive parent, an aunt, a godfather, or any other person in the family who takes on the role of raising, feeding, and protecting the child.But that's not all: each of us knows at least one person who has a thousand children. Think of teachers, educators, social workers, healthcare workers, youth movement leaders, etc. In short, all the people who play a parental role, whether voluntarily or professionally, to the extent that they occupy a "responsible" position vis-à-vis a younger, and therefore weaker, child who depends on them.

Regardless of the size of the "business" one runs (from a multinational to a small family with one or two children), everyone—whether they like it or not—has an impact on those around them.And this impact is even greater when the ratio of "size" or "strength" is unequal. A parent exerts considerable influence on their children. A boss's attitude is not neutral on their employees. Ignoring this is a form of blindness. Being aware of it, however, implies considerable responsibility. Because every action we take, every word we speak (but also certain silences) are like arrows sent around us: nothing can stop them, much less make them turn around.

“You run a business like you raise your children.”

I can hear the many and varied reactions that will echo this somewhat provocative phrase, largely inspired by the words of Lao Tzu, to which I fully subscribe. The latter was not talking about a company, but about a country.When I lead seminars on the theme of leadership associated with the practice of Tao, the first reaction of the managers present when I state this maxim is quite mixed. Some of them immediately adhere to the message while others refute it at first glance.I then try to understand what bothers them about this idea and for many, it is the same argument that comes up: a boss is not the parent of his employees or his workers. To claim this would be an invitation to infantilize his staff. Now, we know very well where patriarchal (or matriarchal) behaviors in companies can lead: to psychological games that transactional analysis describes admirably by talking about ego states and dramatic triangles (persecutor-victim-rescuer). This argument obviously holds up perfectly.Others say that a boss does not have to "love" his colleagues. So, then, Love would have no right to exist in the world of work?But then, what does this disturbing, even provocative message mean, which consists of comparing the manager and the parent? Woman or man. Do you have to be crazy to establish a relationship between the world of family and that of work?

What is happening in the company is a repetition of what happened in the family.

The first "enterprise" in which each human being had to make "their place" was the family and its procession of events of all kinds, pleasant and less pleasant: births, marriage, divorce, illnesses, deaths, etc. For some, these stages are sometimes experienced in a traumatic way.

Our first authority figure is therefore, in most cases, our mother or father. But also in certain situations a surrogate parent (older brother, stepmother, uncle, adoptive parent, godmother, etc.).

From early childhood, our self-esteem and self-confidence are built and deconstructed through our original relationships within the nuclear family. This is where, in our various brains, most of the connections that will forge our stimulating, but also limiting, beliefs are woven.

The way our reference people (those who "have authority") look at us is fundamental in the construction of our psyche. And this look, most often that of our parents, is necessarily itself conditioned by a past, a culture, inherited beliefs... This is how repeating scenarios are installed, like iterative programs, which govern us without us being aware of it.

The deep, unconscious beliefs that drive us are mostly responses that are delayed in time. Responses to events that are sometimes even completely forgotten or repressed. Even more troubling: some of these beliefs come from transgenerational history. And were imprinted by people we have never met, like a great-grandfather or a great-aunt.

In business, we find ourselves, symbolically, in a "family" where we naturally seek to find, or maintain, what we believe to be our place. From there, our family programs can be reactivated according to events and the life of the company.

For example, if I suffered from an overly authoritarian parent, it's likely that I won't really like a colleague of the same ilk. If, on the other hand, I lacked parents who know how to set standards, I'll have trouble putting up with a manager who doesn't make clear decisions when necessary. Or I'll react in the opposite way, out of contradiction. But always in reaction to my experience.

The competitive games, healthy or unhealthy, that take place in early childhood will also strongly influence our relationships with others in adult life. Members of the same management committee who compete for power often reproduce the mechanisms of disputes, expressed or not, between siblings or between little friends in kindergarten.

The omnipotence syndrome that we sometimes see in those who wield great power is a particularly interesting phenomenon, because dictatorial behaviors can be the response to diametrically opposed parental dysfunctions. Indeed, I either reproduce the same failings as my parents, or I choose the diametrically opposite direction. Unfortunately, doing the opposite will often, sooner or later, result in reproducing the same thing.

Now, we are the ancestors of the future. And as such, we bear a great responsibility: that of transmitting in the most 'fair' way possible (in the sense of the word 'fairness') what must or can be transmitted, both to our biological children and to our symbolic children.

Excerpt from “The TAO my compass” by Pierre Lucas

THE TAO MY COMPASS

What if changing the world started with changing ourselves? How can we help heal this world that so desperately needs it? Can we still dream?

This book offers simple keys, inspired by Chinese Taoist philosophy. Harmonizing our Yin and Yang energies, balancing the forces of life, calming conflicts and our fears: these are all avenues explored to best contribute to the fulfillment of human beings within families, organizations, and the world.

The illustrated version is on sale at the BAO space (Bouche à Oreille, rue Félix Hap 11, 1040 Brussels) and from the author for €35.

Next BAO Elan Vital INFO evening: January 27, 2025. Pierre will be present at 5:45 p.m. to sign his book 'Le TAO, ma boussole'. The book will be on sale on site that evening and also during the Word of Mouth opening days during BAO Elan Vital training courses.

For more details and dates, visit: www.bao-elanvital.be

Where can I find the book?This book is available in 3 formats:The illustrated version is on sale at the BAO space (Le Bouche à Oreille, rue Félix Hap 11 in 1040 Brussels) and from the author – €35The paperback version is on sale on the  Bookelis website  – €19The ebook version for e-readers is on sale on the  Bookelis website  – €11.99

As all sales are donated to the non-profit organization Luciole, purchasing the Illustrated version is strongly encouraged!